A life without peace.

I often wonder for many who live with no reference to God, where does your peace come from? Everyone has problems, and many times both the believer and the unbeliever have an abundance of problems. I know that even with my faith in God, sometimes, the going gets real tough. I wonder how many who don't have a relationship with God, deal with grief and loss. I do know how a few have dealt with it.

I had a friend in high school and the years following, who was not a believer. We laughed a lot, played a lot of pool, but we didn't spend much time talking about religion. My last years of high school and the years following, was a period of my life that I did not live like a Christian. My friend grew up Catholic, and when I knew him, he professed to be an atheist. We grew up, and in the mid-nineties went different directions. I eventually lost touch with him all together.

He always wanted to go to New York, never content to live in Tennessee; he described it, like it was a utopia. He always wanted something different from the way things were. He wanted a different car, some girl or some thing to make him happy. But, in all the time that I knew him, he was never really happy. He wanted a different life.

I saw his mother several months ago at a restaurant, she told me that he had committed suicide, now, about three years ago. He had gotten married, but eventually, his wife left him. It was under the weight of a failing marriage, that he took his life. His hope was gone, when his wife left. He did not have any peace or comfort for his soul. I grieved for him, in large part, because in me, he found a life that was inconsistent with what I said I believed; and I won't ever know, if I could have given him the hope that is living in me.